It's Not Going To Happen

When Good Things Go Bad

December 3, 2011 It's Not Going To Happen, The Beat

The faint memory of a sweltering afternoon spent cooling down in a rooftop poolside cabana has kept the Renaissance Hotel peripherally alive on our radar. A hotel at Hollywood and Highland was never going to be anyone’s favorite, but surely it couldn’t be horrible, and yet…that’s what it disappointingly has become. A recent night culled the following impression:

jarring, loud live "jazz" music
impressive, Vegas-stature fluorescent lighting
processed, casino-like feel
awkward spiral staircase
world class, airport terminal-like discomfort

We are impressed that such conspicuous mediocrity made it out of the gate unchecked, but as our favorite graphic novel Ghost World says, “It’s so bad it went all the way to good and back to bad again.”

The Dreamers

August 12, 2011 In the Air, It's Not Going To Happen, The Beat

You can always spot the car that’s just run a red light. It’s the only car on that side of the street bolting at mach speed, with a driver furtively scanning for police. Such is the mentality of the entitled business traveler at the airport, recovering from a delayed flight. It’s the waiting room of United SFO, notorious for fog-related delays, with a full operation of complainers in swing.

“UN-believable!” shouts a man in a suit, red face and bulging eyes possibly indicative of an untreated thyroid problem. “I have a meeting in LA in two hours and it’s YOUR fault if I miss it”

“I’m NOT flying into Long Beach. NO. You’re going to put me on the next flight to LA or –” Thyroid snaps back to his mobile, “Brian, these jerk-offs at United say my flight is delayed an hour and a half AT LEAST, excuse me–”

“If I have to pay for a ticket on another airline, which I will, I am invoicing YOU the cost”

And on. And on.

Oh yes, that delayed flight. What did we do? We stepped calmly to the desk, arranged a different flight, and settled into an email starting with “I’m so sorry I’m going to be late…” After all, what are the chances your new client is on the same plane?

We’ll just say it’s happened…

W-here’s the Pool?

August 5, 2011 D.C., It's Not Going To Happen, The Beat

We accept certain things as hotel standard issue – body lotion as part of the bath amenities, a chocolate brownie on 24/7 room service, negotiable checkout of at least +1 or 2 hours, and, if the climate is widely known as one of the most humid and punishing on the East Coast, a body of water to park next to with a lounge chair and glass of lemonade. So things aren’t exactly coming together for us. We love the W with the passion of 13-15 room keys, and have found pools in unlikely (and no doubt underappreciated) circumstances like the W San Francisco. So, a few steps from the White House (also known as a building with prime undeveloped rooftop real estate), our horror was realized as we ascended to the roof and took a stark look around. Reality setting in, we acknowledged the obvious – we should have checked Tablet.